When an adolescent verbalizes the idea of ​​suicide, it must be taken very seriously

During confinement, suicide attempts among adolescents fell, probably because it was a parenthesis in everyone's life, which was put on pause, and the boys temporarily stopped being exposed to the stressful situation that caused them discomfort, without However, after the summer, when we returned to the routine, to reality, there was a significant upturn.

“We, since October 2020, have quadrupled the number of cases we attend to due to this problem,” confirms Fran Villar, coordinator of the Suicide Consultation Care Program at the Sant Joan de Déu Hospital, who comments in this regard that “after the summer, the demands returned, but nevertheless the boys did not have the option to enjoy unloading activities such as sports or leisure”. And it is that we must not forget that, although with the perspective of the years adolescence is remembered as a wonderful time, this is a vital period "full of changes, some very hard, which can make you have many insecurities, it is a a time when everything is lived with great intensity and there are people who do not have the tools to manage that emotional situation”, says Cecilia Borrás, mother of a boy who took his own life and president of the association 'Després del suicidi'.

This is precisely one of the possible protective factors that the environment can offer to an adolescent with suicidal ideation. "When a boy transmits his discomfort, we must not underestimate him because we believe that he has no material reasons to feel this way, but rather we must empower him in his pain and always be open to dialogue, give them a space to listen", Borras recounts. Along the same lines, Villar points out that "it is key to validate the pain of that adolescent who transmits or gives signs of his discomfort, it must be recognized and admitted that it may exist." "It is fatal to tell a boy who is having a bad time that he is losing the best years of his life, when for him they are the worst," says the doctor, who also emphasizes that "when someone tells us their willingness to take his own life, we must always take it seriously, we cannot ignore it because we consider it to be a way of attracting attention”.

Actually, it is an alert, a request for help, and that alert signal can occur verbally, but also through significant changes in their behavior or in their academic performance, as well as in their sleeping habits,... definitively, "the person stops being himself and in the face of these changes, we always tend to think that they are things of age, but in reality that is the moment to ask, to open a door to dialogue".

In this sense, Villar recalls that before suicide there is always a warning, either through signs or through the verbalization of the intention and recalls that "when the intention to take one's life is already verbalized, that person has been mulling over the idea of ​​suicide. In fact, there are studies that show that between the time an adolescent begins to think about death and the actual attempt, an average of one year passes.

That is why it is key to take advantage of this window of opportunity to act and for this reason "an effort must be made to empathize" with the adolescent who shows signs of his intention to take his own life, despite the fact that, frequently, "it is more difficult for us to believe that what he is saying is what he really thinks when it comes to an adolescent than when he is an adult”, as Villar indicates, to go on to point out, however, that “despite the fact that it must be taken seriously, it must be do it with restraint, without getting nervous when it comes to acknowledging that pain”, because with that attitude only a greater restlessness and concern is transmitted.

In this line, the psychologist recalls that "generally, those young people who evolve better after having attempted suicide are those who have been on the verge of death, because that is when the environment has truly become aware of the seriousness of the problem."

infoboxy New Post: How to make a microwaveable neck wrap http://www.infoboxy.com/how-to-make-a-microwaveable-neck-wrap-134/

— Tech Maxi Thu Apr 21 16:47:20 +0000 2011

And it is that, as Villar indicates, "the environment is essential" when treating these cases, in fact, "during treatment, our goal is to work to reconnect them with life, to make them return to the environment" and, in this context, “the main protective factor against suicide in adolescents is participation in the family and the environment”.

The key, return to the environment

Thus, “several essential focuses could be pointed out in the prevention of this type of behavior: on the one hand, there is the pain, discomfort and suffering experienced by the adolescent, which, associated with despair, could lead anyone to think in death as a way out and that is when the idea of ​​suicide can appear”. And at this point, “how I am linked to life, a factor that can lead the individual to definitely want to die” is of great relevance, explains Villar, hence the importance of the environment. In fact, "it is common for those who are thinking of taking their own lives to consider that this is the way to free the people they love from their burden, that it is a necessary sacrifice that they must make for those around them." "Seeking the fit and the link with life and the environment is prevention, because in the end, the reasons that lead to suicide do not cease to be life" and for this reason it is important not to make this adolescent feel that he is a burden, nor instigating him to feel happy for having a comfortable life or for being in a vital stage that we adults mistakenly consider to be one of happiness.

In this sense, it is important that adolescents suffering from emotional distress or suicidal ideation receive hopeful messages from those around them, so it is vital not to fall into the temptation of trying to minimize the situation by insisting on the idea that adolescence is the best moment of life and, instead, it is convenient to remind him that the best moments of life still await him and that "what worries him now, will be able to be solved", says Borrás, something that in most cases is true , since, as Villar points out, "most adolescents who think of taking their own lives will not die by suicide, even those who have already tried it."

All this can lead us to conclude that "we are failing as adults" since we are not being able to accompany our adolescents in the process of managing discomfort and liaising with the environment, as the psychologist points out, and despite the fact that that responsibility must be shared by the entire environment, in reality it falls mainly, like a dead weight, on the parents and close relatives of suicide victims.

The mourning of someone who has lost a child due to this circumstance is especially hard, since the feeling of guilt always hangs over them. "All the time we wonder what influence we have had in this situation," says Borrás, who confesses that she tormented herself wondering "what she had failed to do as a mother." In any case, despite the pain that this attitude could generate, the truth is that, as the president of 'Després del suicidi' highlights, "it is necessary to ask that question, in grief it is crucial to try to understand our role in the death of that person.

In any case, Borrás relieves parents of guilt by also pointing out that in a situation like this "parents feel powerless and overwhelmed, since no one has taught us how to manage a situation in which our child wants to take his own life and, In addition, we tend to be the last in the communication chain of our children, who trust other people more than us when it comes to sharing this type of thing. Finally, for Borrás, it is also important to remember that "despite the fact that parents can do everything possible so that our children overcome or, directly, do not fall into that situation, there is always a margin."